Economics According to Bush

Well, our dear president’s great and generous giveaway has begun! Needy American citizens will soon be receiving checks for hundreds, even thousands, of dollars. I chhhheeertainly hope the government will discourage the receipients from starting – or even adding to – a savings account of any sort. And, like so many other grateful and loyal Americans, I hope none of the money will come from my hard-earned bank account.

As I understand it, this is a one-time deal, so I wonder how long it will take for all the money to be used up. How many more months do you think it will last, especially if you’re heavily in debt? And what will you do then?

Oh! Wait!! I almost forgot! This generosity is for the purpose of jump-starting the economy again. And the Emperor has expressly told us to spend the money, especially at the mall. The businesses there and elsewhere need the money even more than we do. So we’ll have to keep going back even after our stipends have evaporated.

Well, I’m sure we can trust our Great Leader to have all these decisions well thought out ahead of time for us as well as he has during the past seven years until his last glorious day in office. We’ll certainly miss him. And what do you want to bet, especially if a Democrat takes over, the next president won’t have a clue as to how to get us out of this mess?