A Family Conservation

Late yesterday afternoon, my doorbell rang and I opened the door to find a rather large, long box on my front porch. The card on the top of the box was addressed to Super “Commie/Pinko/Socialist” aunt, so I knew that it could not have come from anyone except my niece Toni and her husband Bill.

Because it was getting rather late in Tucson, where they live, I called right away. Toni answered the phone. I didn’t mince words and got right to business and asked to talk to the head of household. In a plaintive voice, Toni said, ‘Well, exCUSE ME! and handed the phone to Bill. Bill answered with his usual loud voice, HaLLOW. I verified that he was indeed the head of household by asking if I was talking to the Bush Boob and from there we launched into our usual confrontation – political jibes at each other, sprinkled with thank you for the gorgeous flowers, love you’s, how are you doing’s, OKs, how about you’s, somewhat better’s, and more love you’s.

I thought I had inflicted the final coup by saying, in regard to the flowers that “Oh, I just love the waste,” But it was Toni, yelling from the background, who said “And you wouldn’t have gotten them in the first place if WE hadn’t been capitalists. And with that, we all retired to our respective beds laughing our heads off.

(Thanks, Bill and Toni, for my opportunity to write something funny for a change.)