In the Humble Opinion of LittleBill, Socialist, Atheist, and Humanist

THE PET PERIODICAL – The Rescue of the Rat

One day, I strolled from our house on the ranch down to barn, taking our four dogs with me, tails wagging, and noses sniffing the ground for scent.

As we drew near the barn, the dogs suddenly darted forward. I rushed after them to see what was going on, and found them sniffing at a long pole lying alongside the barn. It looked like a telephone pole—which it probably was. I yelled at the dogs, knowing that there must be some animal trapped behind the pole, and eventually, they gave up and went off in search of greener fields.

I stayed behind to see if whatever it was was all right, and eventually a small rat climbed up on top of the log, sat up on his haunches, and thanked me in rat language for saving his life.

This may sound like a really sweet story—which it is—but it has much, much more meaning to me. It was experiences like this that have converted me to the singular religion which was conceived in my heart and now consumes my mind and soul.