In the Humble Opinion of LittleBill, Socialist, Atheist, and Humanist
The Thanks I Get

I have spent the entire morning, bent like a cashew, working at my computer. At one point, my cat Loudy jumped on my work table and spoke to me nose to nose. I was too busy to pay attention to him, so he finally gave up and jumped down.

When I finally turned to the work table, I discovered that he had peed on everything, today’s Chronicle, a number of articles I planned to address, including several especially great Jon Carrolls I was going to copy and mail to friends. They are all out in the back yard as I speak, plastered by a fairly strong breeze--against fences I hope.

Loudy must have really been mad at me, because there was quite a sizable lake to clean up as well. If you sense a vague smell of cat pee on your computer, blame him, not me.

(Note: By coincidence, I mentioned cat pee in an email to a friend the other day, saying that when I couldn’t smell it in my home anymore, I wouldn’t want to live here. That will give you some idea of my lifestyle at the age of 84.)



Vigilante said...

I keep trying to tell you, Lil'Bill, cats are bullies and dogs are pals. All cats are looking for is slaves; all dogs are looking to is their master. Having said that, I have to admit that my big Red pooped on my bed in the wee hours of this morning. But he's a senior-senior citizen and I cut him a lot of slack.

Beach Bum said...

Dragonwife adopted a fat hairy orange tabby about a year before she went off to China to pick up Miss Wiggles. When Spoilboy went off with his grandparents to Richmond while my wife was in China I ended up spending about a week alone with the cat who even after a year our relationship was rocky. Dragonwife called me in the middle of night, my time, from China in a panic over a missing form that she needed right now. As I was talking with her taking notes over what I needed to fax over a bad phone line the cat walked up beside me and promptly did both number one and two on a big pillow that had at sometime been tossed on the floor. While in the army I had detonated a Claymore mine in training and even behind protective cover the blast wave still felt like a sledgehammer. The smell from the cat's business on that pillow hit me about the same way. As much as I wanted to I was able to resist the urge to throw the cat against the wall.

LittleBill said...

I'm so glad both of you shared your joys of pethood with me. As I emailed a friend the other day, when there is a faint odor of cat pee missing from my house and dog poop no longer waiting for my careful steps in the yard, it just won't be home anymore, and I won't want to be here.

Anonymous said...

There is only that much the self respecting cat can take! You, LittleBill, clearly deserved all that came to you and perhaps even more. Let's just see if the old girl (you) learns new tricks? Heh heh, Please, extend my best regards to Loudy!

LittleBill said...

Loudy was absolutely delighted to hear from you, Pekka. He asked me (no, told me) to be sure to thank you for your kind thoughts of him and for scolding me.

LittleBill said...

And as for you, Vigilante, Loudy told me to stick out my tongue and direct a raspberry at you. He said you should be glad he didn't choose the other end.